Enough already!

An incident that occurred yesterday motivated me to break my hiatus to tell you luvlies something that's really bothering my peace of mind. Here goes ...

Okay, so I may be more of a producer than I am an artist to most people, because I'm not so into the performing thing. I leave people like my dear friend ... okay, my BOYFRIEND, a_phake, to do that kind of stuff, because he likes it and he has the knack for it. But you know what, I still consider myself an artist, and I'LL BE DAMNED, I'll be recognised as such even if I have to die trying!

It really pissed me off yesterday to be sitting down in someone's gallery where I was invited and wasn't included in the conversation AT ALL. I watched as the hostess included everyone else, even my wonderful boyfriend, who recently got to perform in Barbados at their first electronic music festival (an awesome opportunity by the way!), except me. And to the person who invited me, boy, you REALLY blew it! I really thought you were cool and stuff, and I mean, you're such a brilliant artist, and I really wanted to support you, but you really slighted the wrong girl. Too bad for you! Next time when you invite people home by you, besides going on about yourself and your art, or art in general, try to include ALL your invited guests in the conversation, and at least TRY to be interested in whatever they're doing and ask questions about what they're doing nuh! I thought that was common sense!!!

Anyway, this brilliant but painfully short-sighted person really pissed me off because she acted just like other people have in the past: people who just see me as my talented boyfriend's girlfriend, rather than the equally talented and equally interesting Kat Hennessy! And people, I have just as much to say and I have just as much insight as everyone does in local electronic music scene, and yet I don't see anyone asking me to do an interview. What the hell is up with that? I'm sorry, but I'm just not taking that shit any more. People, it's really shitty. Are you serious?

It got me thinking why all my other music friends seem to get more attention than I do, and after I did some thinking, I came up with what I thought was a plausible answer. It's not that I'm barely active lately on Facebook or Reverbnation or what have you, nope! It's because I'm not in the 'spotlight', up on stage, front and centre, entertaining all you people (or not, because most of you turn your backs and lose interest in the performance anyway). And you know what? That really stings. It sucks! I shouldn't have to change who I am for anyone to take me seriously! I definitely shouldn't have to put myself outta my way and comfort zone if you're just not gonna listen to what I'm singing about anyway! I shouldn't have to cuss up a storm or act like a lunatic to get the attention I DESERVE! No way!

MY MUSIC SHOULD SPEAK FOR ITSELF!

So for all the TRULY UNSUPPORTIVE people, please, PLEASE, GO AWAY and make room for the people who just want MUSIC and not the extra ANTICS to go along with it!!!

Done.

What am I to do???

Another failed venture. Tried to rally up the so-called 'troops' but no one seems to truly care. It really disappoints me and makes me lose hope in change. Why are people so apathetic? Can that ever change? Or do I just know too many lazy people? 

About that ...
What I am talking about is an attempt to connect with more 'IDM' artists. I had created a group on Facebook for this feat, but since it was created, only two or three people out of fourteen contributed to the group. And then even those who contributed stopped. So I got impatient and deleted the group. Then I deactivated my Facebook account.

Why was I so rash? Well, I wanted results soooo badly! I wanted to meet people who were just as passionate, and in the short time that the group was created, I didn't get the response I was hoping for. I decided that it's possible that there aren't that many people who do take an interest in propelling 'IDM' (or what I'd like to call 'Electronic Art Music', EAM, for the time being, 'til I can come up with something better) to the masses. I mean, showing the masses that electronic music isn't just about getting people to move and groove. It can get people to think. Just like paintings or sculptures, it too is an artform: a snapshot of the creator's mood/ feelings at the time, an important message to be put across.  But thinking about it, my action was probably too hasty, and a tad reckless. I could have waited longer to see if my group would reap results. But I'm usually prone to those kind of actions when I get impatient. My apologies.

To the luvlies ...
It's been almost a year since I've felt like this: wanting to give up. I'm so dissatisfied with people who claim to care and show that they don't. I won't however discount the comments and likes from those people. Some of you were there at the right time to give me a boost, to make me feel like my thoughts, like my music, did matter. But then I felt like the support just stopped. Well, it felt like it did. It felt like it wasn't consistent enough. *sigh* or maybe this is a privilege I'll only receive when I reach superstar status, I suppose. Maybe that's what I want: I want to feel like a superstar, and maybe I should just stop pouting and accept that until I reach that point, there's hardly going to be anyone who'll be actively commenting, telling me that they just heard 'Head First (Into the Sea of Dreams)' again, say, and it made them feel like their body was floating mid-air. I don't know, these are the things I imagine someone should say about my music! But yes, I suppose I am asking too much of my present and future luvlies, and this is why, for now, I'll focus solely on making music, and less on the social networking for now. I've got to up my game to get the 'fame', right?

To the lone 'soldiers' like me out there ...
I just find we live in a world where hardly anyone actively challenges (or at least not anyone around me, who I actually know or know of). They just take what is given to them wholeheartedly. Well, with politics it's a different story, I think we would all agree. But what about literature? What about music? What about film? I feel lots of people have sold their 'artistic soul' to the Devil just to make a quick buck on the air-headed people who want something that they can easily consume. But I know, I KNOW there are lots of people who don't fit this description. I KNOW. Then where are they? I want to meet you! I want us to challenge the state of the media today, before it gets too lost in its current direction!


One last thing ...
What I don't want is pity. I don't want people coming like how they did last year and pat me on the back and say, 'What are you talking about? Your music does matter! I love it!' Again, I'm plain fed up of people talking and not acting on what they say.

Here's to meeting more actually interested people in the future. People who won't just be my fans; they'll be my FRIENDS. And here's to people who I hope to meet that will prove all I've said in this post wrong. I WANT to be wrong!

P.S. Dead Eyes is one such fan that's become a friend. She's probably the last best fan/ friend I've made in the past year. How I wish for more people like her and my other fan/ friends. Oh well, baby steps I suppose.

Gotta try some more.

Random News: Making a Mountain Out of a Molehill?

My eye hurts ... like a mutha. Luvlies, care please? I love my eyes, don't you? Here's a pic to remind you what they look like:

It's my right eye (or should I say the one on the left)
 that hurts.

Ooh, while uploading the picture, I noticed that Blogger's changed the way you upload pics. Nice one! Though I'd have liked to see the Picasa option; I realllly liked the Picasa option :(

Why should you care? 
There's a chance that something serious is wrong with my eye. If my eye randomly pops out my eye socket and I'm left one-eyed, it means I can't work on my music as efficiently before (I think). It means the rate at which I'm making cool new songs will be vastly increased! So care, dears, please?

In The Kno: Kat Meets Tumblr

Luvlies, you can now find much more exclusive stuff from yours truly @ The Starry Eyed Kat: On Dreams and Other Things. 


So ... yeah, that's it :) 


Stay golden!!!

Downtime, random stuff, and 'The Room'

Before I begin, I'd like to welcome and honour some recent luvlies who've subscribed to my blog! Thanks so much for following me and lending your support to my mission! I hope I've be able to entertain you here so far!


Downtime

Pre-release May 27th on Armada-Downloads!

After the hectic period I went through getting my Soul Cleanse Remix ready for a_phake's 'Friday Night EP', I think I deserve a two-week break! So far it's been unproductive, but for the final week I hope to do some reading, soul-searching, and acquainting myself with music from artists in the groups I belong to. It'll also be nice to check out/ catch up on the blogs of my followers and random bloggers. Life feels good at the moment, and it'll feel even better when I give back to the people who've supported me, while helping to encourage other people who may not have as much support.

Random stuff

Scorpion *sigh* ... undoubtedly
 my favourite character!

I don't think I do this enough, and by 'this', I mean 'fessing what I'm like when I'm not about the music. For instance, does anyone know that I play video games? I'm a HUUUUUGE Nintendo fan, but lately I've been playing more games on my XBOX 360. The main game I've been playing in particular (okay, it's only really one game at the moment) is Mortal Kombat 9. By confessing this, does this make me appear to have good taste or bad? Your call :) Oh well. I also play online multiplayer games like Maple Story. You're probably saying by now, "Isn't that some kiddie game? What is wrong with this girl?" Have I done even more damage by 'fessing that? Hah, I know you guys won't judge me! Anyway, I like these games, and they are fun, and they help me to de-stress and bond with my little brother (oh yeah, did I mention I have a brother too?)

Besides games, what also helps me de-stress and express my inner woman too to boot are my twice-weekly Pilates sessions, run by Rachel Lee. I've been attending these classes for almost a year now, but lately I haven't been consistent in my attendance. Anyway, this week's session went brilliantly! I was at my most flexible, and I loved the feeling of ... I dunno, invicibility? Freedom? Fearlessness? I can't describe it! I also love love looove the ladies in the class with me. They're always cracking me up :D One in particular is always saying things like 'well is NOW my son won't be able to sleep!' Yeah, you know what she means by that statement ;)

In addition to making music, I write! No, I don't mean how I blog and stuff like that. I WRITE. I've written maybe five stories (I think they're too short to be novels, so I guess I'll call them novellas). These were all when I was a teen. I have started writing a couple of stories since I've crossed into adulthood, but I wasn't able to finish them. I think over time I felt like music was more my thing, but no, the writing itch is still there; I just don't have the time to think out a great plot any more :( I really don't want to say any more about my writing side, as I think it's very separate from my music side, so I won't, but I'll just thought I'd mention this cool fact anyway :) And yeah, take my word for it!

Me enjoying a Banoffee weeks ago on
Dead Eyes's birthday

Oh yeah, and another great fact: my favourite Haagen Dazs flavour is 'Banoffee'. A close second, or a tie probably, is the 'Tiramisu' flavour. Both taste great, though both are maybe a bit too sweet. I had some Banoffee today. Yummy yum goodness!

Another fact is that I loooove to laugh (like there!!! <--). I love watching Adult Swim with my brother, or cracking up with my brother and friends over Youtube videos. I also adooorreee this sitcom called 'How I Met Your Mother'. My brother, Dead Eyes and I just love that show! I also love cracking up over stuff that's soooo bad it's good, which brings me to my next subheading!

'The Room' 

Official Movie Poster ...
*cringes*

Boyyy is this movie bad! It comes complete with a poor plot, even poorer dialogue, wayyy heavy sex scenes, and a really creepy-looking star (him there in the poster) that will be sure to leave you confused as to how his sexy co-star could ever muster the willpower to kiss him and do sex scenes (or as he would say, 'love scenes') with him! Anyway, this movie was the most fun to watch and laugh at and I had so much fun discussing the movie with my friend Dead Eyes last night. If you haven't watched this movie, or don't even intend to, at least watch the trailer.





Before I end, I just want to repeat that a pre-release of Friday Night EP will be available on Armada-Downloads on May 27th!!!

Fin